Part 1 The Overview

My life has been such that I've had to deal with men probably more differently than most. See, the problem I've had is that guys love ME, and I don't love them back. Frankly, if I don't I don't, and I'm not prepared to lie to make someone feel better when I plainly KNOW what I really feel. Why do guys believe they can force someone to love them? Or perhaps that's just too biased in terms of humanity. Women do the same thing too. However, it's male pride that stands to differ.

That girl can't POSSIBLY pass a guy like ME up. GET REAL.

Truthfully, I've had my share of problems with guys SO much, that it's pushed me to the conclusion that the next relationship that doesn't work out, I'm going to be a lesbian, see if women are slightly more different. Hope so.

Since I've had mostly male friends all my life, I pretty much know how guys think, unless everything I've seen to this point from them has been a farce (and from what I can tell about guys I know, that isn't too far off). I don't mean to come off as the cynical type of girl that doesn't see any worth in guys aside from their bodies and the things they can do with them. They are very useful for things, and can provide many years of companionship . . . IF they learn how to act properly.

Herein lies the "whip factor". The more a man is whipped, meaning, under your control (girls, call it what it REALLY is..), the more likely they will be better partners. Now this control isn't to the point where they can't do the stuff they like to do. This is to say, if you make a request for something to be done, he will not delay and have it completed.

I can honestly say I've never had a guy whipped like that. Even in my relationship now, it's far from being whipped. I suppose when you're first starting out, it has to be an equal footing. You can't go into a relationship with extra baggage.

If you can't be cool with yourself, how can any girl be cool with you? Women look for assured, sophisticated, independent men that can, if necessary, support them. Simple truth of the matter. At the base level of things, that's what they want! They don't want someone that comes to them on the rebound from another relationship (that is, if they're serious and not just looking for a quick lay - we leave that for the playaz), or someone that immediately latches onto them for emotional or physical support. Real relationships don't work that way.

And for those girls that want those big, brawny guys with the super huge muscles. . . I can't say it enough: LOOK BEYOND THE MUSCLES! There are so many wonderful, EMPLOYED, INDEPENDENT men out there that may not be the most gorgeous person in the world, but they have their shit straight. That's the kind of guy you should look for, not those broke ass, nothing but pussy on the mind, kinda guys. That's just my take. But I'm not done yet -

Part 2 Try and Understand Me, REALLY!

I seriously doubt that men actually put enough brainpower into understanding the female mind. Women have their quirks, yes, but it's not so overly complex. I can only speak for myself when I say, I'm not that complex to understand. If anything, I'm rather simplistic in my likes and dislikes, and what makes me tick. My life is pretty much an open book. Then why are so many women enigmatic with themselves? Probably the fact that they don't want to reveal too much to a guy before getting to know them.

That's another thing. Guys, you don't really think you'll get into bed on the first trip, do you? I don't think so. And girls, don't give it up so easily! What's wrong with you, dammit! Your cooch is just WAY too precious to just hand it out like free cupcakes at a bake sale. Besides, the world is just too dangerous with the TONS of STDs around, I wouldn't be so brave as to try my luck at the roulette table of diseases.

Part 3 Solely Black Men

Ok, don't even get on me about singling out black men. I just happen to have several words to say about them. Coming from an African-American background, I've seen many Black women come out with books on "treating your brother right" and all that crap. I truly can't see myself living up to that stereotype. I won't further that stereotype by saying that Black men tend to get in trouble more than most. I know some very wonderful Black men that are successful, professional gentlemen, the type that ANY woman would love to hook up with. Still, there are those ruffnecks and such, those gnettofabulous brothers out there that try oh so hard to "represent".

What the heck are you representin, anyway?!

For the most part, throughout my dating "career", I've been with mostly Black men, but I have also dated several other men outside of the race. There are some distinct differences I realize:

1. Black men seem to be more aggressive and territorial. This gives way to the trueness behind some of those songs you hear on the radio about "my shorty" this and that. .
2. They live up to the hype of genitalia. Just take my word for it. . .And they have better technique too, for the most part.
3. Black men seem to have more to prove than others, especially when they're in front of their "boys". I still haven't figured out what this test of manhood is for, but it's certainly not for his "woman's" benefit.

But I have some really nasty things to say about them too, just those brothers that feel that Black women should be with Black men. That's just complete bullshit, and to see in this day and age the restrictions of race that are still placed on people just disgusts me. I see how people look at mixed race couples when they're walking down the street. God, this is a new century, new sentiments and new culture. . . there is no place for racism of that kind in today's world.

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