Memories have a funny way of fading with time. One day, the hand
of death passes over your soul; the next day, serenity and family
are in their place. The days of fighting seem like they were so long
ago, so misplaced from this reality that I call 'home', but it fades.
It always will . . . it already has.
~ diary of Himura Kenshin ~
"Kenshin?"
Kaoru Kamiya, now Himura, peeped around the door to watch her husband
writing intently. Recently, he had taken to the art of writing, claiming
he wanted to chronicle everything that had happened to him so that later
generations would learn from his mistakes. He had become so sentimental
of late, and after giving his Sakaba to Yahiko, it seemed that the last
vestiges of his life as a samurai were at an end in that one act.
He didn't seem to hear her calling out to him, his eyes still fixed
on the scroll before him. Kaoru often wondered what he wrote about,
but she never dared to read his private scrolls. In time, she hoped
the two of them would be able to share in his memories, to sit down
on one of many cold winter nights and reminisce.
"Kenshin . . ." Kaoru said softly, lightly treading into the room.
His head lifted, turning to acknowledge his wife's presence.
"Kaoru-dono . . . what's wrong?" he asked gently, a tender smile creeping
onto his face.
Kaoru shook her head, belying any fears he may have had.
"It's just that its lunchtime. Kenshi's taking a nap right now, so
I thought maybe we could have a private lunch . . ."
He stood before she could finish speaking, brushing off any invisible
dust from his hakama. The scroll he was working on was rolled and tucked
away inside a makeshift chest near the wall.
"That sounds like a good idea. What's for lunch?" Kenshin approached
Kaoru, lightly resting his arm around her shoulders. The two exited
the room, tiptoed past Kenshi's room, and went outside onto the porch.
Strangely, as Kenshin passed through the doorway, a moment of déjà
vu violently hit him. It was so violent in fact that he halted in his
tracks. Kaoru felt his arm slip off as she took another step forward,
then turned around to face him in question.
"Are you ok, Kenshin? What is it?" her eyes and voice echoing concern
for the look on his face.
He closed his eyes a moment, internally focusing on calming the tumult
that rose from his mind. Kaoru's concerned voice droned out of recognition
as memories flooded his consciousness. Visions of a tattered Sanosuke
floated by, remembering the bloody battle with Shishio Makoto. More
images of the past came to the surface, of a young Yahiko, not the man
he had so quickly become.
Kaoru's hand reached out to caress Kenshin's cheek, her eyebrows drawn
deeply together. She had seen Kenshin go into trances like this more
and more recently, and it worried her extremely. Sometimes, it seemed
like Kenshin wasn't even there, his eyes drifting off past her into
the distance, thinking about a time long ago, even before her. Was he
regretting his past? She could never truly tell. Kaoru knew his past
better than anyone, but even she couldn't decipher the fury of emotions
that inundated Kenshin so often.
It was a memory of Kaoru that forced Kenshin to open his eyes. He had
to savor the moment, though, remembering its importance. It was the
day the two had first met, some ten years ago. Kaoru had been the first
in years to accept Kenshin for Kenshin, nothing more. That moment meant
the world to him, and truly signified the beginning of his new life.
He had so much to thank her for, and day-by-day, he tried desperately
to show how much he was glad to have her in his life.
"Kaoru-dono . . ." his eyes opening, a smile once again gracing his
lips. "It's been so long since I've walked through this door without
thinking about the night we first met."
Kaoru's head crooked to the right slightly, a finger pressed to her
lips. Her eyes grew wide upon memory recollection, then floated back
to Kenshin's deep violets.
"I remember that night well. It was the night everything changed,"
she began, her voice soothing. "I'm glad that you came, Kenshin. I'm
even MORE glad that you stayed. So much time has passed since then,
it's almost amazing that you're still here. Rurouni . . ."
She chuckled, her hands reaching up to rest on his shoulders. Instinctively,
Kenshin's hands encircled Kaoru's waist, drawing her close to his warmth.
Moments later, the two were in a deep embrace, each hoping to reinforce
some level of hope, for the past and for the future.
"I miss the others, Kaoru . . ." Kenshin admitted sheepishly. "I write
about them to remember them, but my memory isn't as sharp as it once
was. . ."
"The Dojo has been quiet without them here this last few years," confessed
Kaoru. "I miss Megumi's advice most of all. She was like a big sister
to me."
Kenshin's eyes rose to the sky, holding Kaoru tightly in his arms.
Sanosuke, he thought. Their reunion 5 years previous only resulted in
a letter from him, confirming the traveler Sanosuke had become in such
a short time. He had always been that way, the roaming kenka. That still
didn't stop Kenshin from missing the one man that had been like a little
brother to him. Not quite THAT little, he thought, laughing to himself.
Kaoru felt the reverberating laughter inside him. Curious, she looked
up from the shoulder she was resting on to see what was so funny.
"Kenshin . . .?" she asked, the question unsaid.
"Oh, I was just thinking of Sanosuke . . . I wonder where he is now
. . ."
"I'm sure he's still traveling. Perhaps he's in America by now . .
." Kaoru speculated.
"Kaoru-dono . . .I realize that all we have now is Kenshi," he said
softly, releasing his hold on her. He held her back a short distance,
looking at her closely. She had grown into a lovely young woman. Kenshin
had watched Kaoru blossom from a precocious adolescent into a diligent,
albeit bullheaded woman. "Yahiko's no longer with us, so we've got to
live our lives to the fullest. That's what our family would want."
"Our family . . ." Kaoru whispered, a tear brimming on the surface.
"Yes, our family, Kenshin. Let's do just that . . ."
As they approached the open yard, they sat down at the table they had
for so many years, and set a table for eight, in remembrance of their
family, wherever they may be: Yahiko, Sanosuke, Megumi, Genzai-sensei,
Ayame, Suzume . . .
Kaoru and Kenshin . . .